Giving Baby Medicine 媽媽沒有耐心給寶寶吃藥

Monday, March 20, 2023

Mandarin Summary:

我討厭給孩子服藥。我兒子也不喜歡。昨天他吃藥時噎到了，兩次嘔吐了。我只是想盡快結束這件事。我感到非常沮喪和失望。

當我丈夫接住嘔吐物時，他問我：“你為什麼這麼急？你不必趕著餵。”

我感到非常憤怒和失望。我想：為什麼我不想想辦法呢？

我曾以為強迫給詹姆斯服藥是唯一的方法。我沒有考慮其他選擇。我已經預設自己會失敗。我卡住了，沒有想通或尋求幫助。自從結婚（並擁有孩子）以來，我被迫改變了很多事情，包括承認自己的不足並向丈夫尋求幫助。

我們把藥與橙汁混合後給了詹姆斯喝。在喝完最後一口時，我差點再次強迫他喝下去，但是我停了下來。我讓他喝完了，他沒有嘔吐。我向自己證明我可以成為一位更好的母親，並且可以不斷改進和成長。

Our baby seems to get sick a lot.

His first official sickness was the infamous 2020 virus, when he was 10-months-old. We were visiting Canada and all got it. Since then he’s had a handful of colds, but his current sickness is some kind of stomach bug: diarrhea, throwing up, and medicine. Oh, medicine!

I hate administering medicine. My son doesn’t like it either. Yesterday he gagged on it and threw up twice. I was just ready to be done. I was so frustrated.

“Why did you do that?” my husband asked me while he caught the vomit in his hand. “You don’t have to rush it.”

I had thought he needed to take his medicine with food. But he had already thrown up his breakfast, lunch, and two doses of medicine because of my impatience. I felt so angry and disappointed with myself. Why don’t I strategize? I’ve been working on my mental and emotional skills for two years now, and I identified it early this time: black-and-white thinking.

I had thought force-feeding James was the only way to give him medicine. I hadn’t considered other options. I had already assumed I would fail. It was “impossible” and I’d “never be able to make him drink his medicine.”

Instead of sneaking him a small sip every five minutes, I was trying to force the entire dose into his mouth within five minutes, and I was on-edge and stressed the entire time: while waiting and feeding. If I had just spaced out my efforts, and relaxed between attempts, I wouldn’t have become angry, and James would have taken all of his medication...eventually.

“Next time something doesn’t work, could you please ask me to help?” my husband pleaded.

Thinking things through and being cautious are weaknesses of mine. Actually, before I got into a relationship with Benjamin no one had ever called me “incautious.” Being in a relationship has brought to light some of my weaknesses, which was really not cool at the beginning. 😂 I used to (and sometimes still do) judge myself because I tend to compare myself to my husband, and in my estimation he is a better person than I am.

When I was single, I would look at and smell expired food to see if I could eat it anyway. When I was single, a guy didn’t have to give up his jacket when I forgot mine. When I was single, I didn’t have to consider someone else or take care of their safety and concerns. Benjamin is more sensitive to food and temperature than I am, which has been a constant annoyance. He is more cautious, more considerate of others, and more efficient. That isn’t to say that I am completely incautious, inconsiderate, and inefficient. This is where black-and-white thinking and comparison and perfectionism has gotten me in trouble. If Benjamin is a “better” person then I become a “terrible” person. This kind of thinking sounded true to me for a long time, but I know now that it isn’t accurate (although it still feels ‘right’ sometimes).

There was one dose of medicine left. 怎麼辦？

Benjamin asked, “Does James like apple juice? We could mix the medicine into some juice.”

“Our son has never had juice. I don’t know if that will work…” I had tried mixing medicine in porridge the other day, but James’ appetite has been low since getting sick, and he refused to eat it, even though I added brown sugar. I sighed. “Okay, I’ll run over to 7-11 and buy some. We’ll try.”

My local 7 only had orange and grape juice. I decided to buy one of each, and first test which one James prefers.

He was not sure about the grape flavour, but he repeatedly sipped the orange juice even though it had pulp inside. I hope this works.

I tore a corner off the square envelope of medicine powder, and mixed the powder with a small amount of juice in his sippy cup. He took a few sips, maybe 30% of the amount, and then seemed uninterested.

We went back upstairs to finish watching Ponyo with his dad, sippy cup in hand. Over the next hour I would give him a sip now and then. When it was the last thimble-size amount left, I was starting to get anxious. I wanted him to finish all of it. I was about to force it when I stopped myself.

It’s less than a teaspoon. Just give it up so he can keep what he’s swallowed already.

I stopped. My son did not throw it up. And I proved to myself that I can improve and grow as a mom.